Bribery. It's the most effective feline training aid known to man. know your cat, then exploit his fondness for cheese tidbits, or if he's a real people-lover, his love of praise and affection, for your own worthy purposes. Generously reward every correct response. Payola works - unless, that is, he's in one of his moods.

You can use his dislikes effectively too. Most cats abhor loud noises and being wet; they will avoid whatever is regularly associated with them.

One technique that doesn't work is brute force. Physical punishment may make him fear you, but it is unlikely to establish the behavior you want. Fear inhibits learning, and since changing behavior is usually a two-step process - first, correcting the mistake, and second, introducing the acceptable alternative - hitting him may frighten him so much he fails to learn the second half of the lesson, the desired behavior.

Be sneaky when you punish. Attacks seeming to come from the wrathful gods of kittydom make a longer-lasting impression than ones coming from you. If you catch him clawing the furniture, throw a crumpled wad of newspaper at him (surprise, not weight, is the deterrent), or blast him with a squirt gun or plant mister, or loudly thwack a rolled newspaper against a table leg, or clap your hands sharply a few times. Associating his act with the disagreeable result rather than with your angry presence gets the message across and prevents a repeat performance when you're not around.

If you can, follow the punishment immediately with the action you want: take him to his scratching post, or litter box, or bed. Assure him in your most persuasive, soothing voice that the alternative is so much nicer. If it's a matter of manners, such as staying off the kitchen counter, a sharp "No!" followed by removal from the scene is sufficient.

Above all, be consistent: behavior is learned through repetition. Establish the rules at the beginning of the relationship and then stick to them. If he's scolded today for behavior that was cute yesterday, at best he?ll learn to ignore you and at worst he'll become neurotic.

Go slowly and keep the training sessions simple, short and upbeat. If the task is complex, break it into segments and let him learn them one at a time, rewarding him for every positive response. (The task is the cat's lesson, patience is yours.)

Finally, realize that a 90% success rate is acceptable. Cats are not noted for obedience: they're best at being beautiful free-spirited creatures of whimsy. Sometimes you have to let it go at that.